More often than not, men find themselves to be turned down by women who follow the misconception that ‘all men are the same’. The truth is that not all men are like that one ex-boyfriend or spouse you had who constantly abused you mentally and/or physically and who ticked all the wrong boxes. There are many men out there and no one has the right to generalise all the apples in the basket because a few of them turned out to be rotten.
You will face a lot of guys in your life which will spellbind you with their charms and make you feel like a princess but at the end of the day, every guy cannot maintain that same intensity of emotion and the feelings just fade away. After all those guys, he will emerge from the shining light and he will bring such vigor in your life which will sustain itself for many years to come. Sure, there will be ups and downs, even movies have a climax and an anticlimax but at the end of day, the forever kind of guy will be worth all the tragic moments and heart breaks. You can be clementine from ‘Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind’ and he will be your Noah Calhoun from the Notebook. You will never underestimate hi abilities to pull you out of the deepest and darkest corners of your fragile insecurities and fears. He sure isn’t Batman or Captain America with supernatural abilities or skills but he sure will be ‘YOURman.’
If your guy follows all of the signs mentioned below then never let go of him, he’s a keeper.
1. They’re committed to you and to the relationship.
When things go bad, that’s when you realise what type of person you’re in a relationship with. Every relationship has problems but that doesn’t mean that the relationship is over. If a guy stays and works through everything with you to make sure that everything goes back to normal, then he is committed to you and wants to make sure everything works out between the two of you. Anyone can bail when the going gets tough but it takes a real man to stay and work through everything.
At times, it may seem impossible for the relationship to withstand further damage. However, he shows you that, even at times when things seem impossible, he has the ability to revive that spark between you two. This makes you realize that no matter what happens further on in life, no matter what the circumstances are, you are going to get out of any kind of trouble. This imparts in you certain courage to spend the rest of your life with him.
You cannot expect your relationship to be all sunshine and rainbows; it is highly impractical to think like that. You have to be quite aware of the fact that, there may come a time when all those feelings will just retreat and your heart will shroud with emptiness. It’s quite easy to think at this point that, all the love inside you has drained out. The forever kind of guy, despite all odds, will psyche the same spark of love, even if he has to overturn the impossible for it. He will not take no for an answer and he will fight for you till his last breath because he knows that without you, his life is incomplete. All the struggles and adventures and accomplishments will mean nothing if you are not beside him to celebrate his life and mourn his sorrows.
2. He talks to you about everything.
Communication is key in order to make any relationship work and for it to be a successful one. A sincere guy won’t bottle up his feelings or concerns because that will lead to him eventually exploding. If you can say it without a doubt in your mind that you know everything there is to know about him and know what can predict which situations make him react in what way then you should tick this box. Talking about problems and concerns will allow the relationship to go further instead, by keeping it all to him; he’s only contributing to an untimely breakup.
Sometimes, in the latter hours of the night, he will be lying on the couch alongside you and all those memories will start to crowd his mind. All those cracks in his life will start to open up and he will be happy that he has you alongside him to fill all those bullet holes. He wouldn’t hesitate to tell you about a childhood tragedy or an adventure somewhere in Paris or about romantic relationships of the past. He will even carry candor too far sometimes because he know that he can trust you with everything and he doesn’t want anything to be concealed from you. He truly adores you. You are his confidant, his eyes in the dark and his everything.
Everyone has a dark side and we all have secrets which are not easy to share with everyone. At times, there is only one person in the entire world who really listens to you and tries to provide a solution to your problems. You’re in some way his confidant. He tries his best to not be judgmental about anything you’ve gone though in your life. If you open up to him, you’ll never regret it because he’ll always be supportive. Well, if you’re not selling Methamphetamine on the sidelines, that is. (You get the reference)
3. He pays attention to the little things.
If a guy truly cares about you, he’ll know little things about you that won’t seem that important or worthy to you but whenever he mentions them, you’ll just feel like the luckiest girl on the planet to have someone as amazing as him. He knows that you snort when you laugh or that you love watching The Bachelor, when he knows these things and surprises even you by knowing them, and then he’s an ideal.
Facial expressions and gesticulation will be enough for him to figure out your mood and even if he can’t speculate things quite accurately, he will be concerned. He will know that something is up and there is a matter that is perturbing you. He will ask you about it , advise you to take a deep breath, pause and let it all out. He will be a great listener and he will never get tired of listening to your little problems. He will always try to find out ways to help you overcome these hurdles. To him, your life will matter more than his life and he will be more concerned about yours matters than hiss. It will hurt him if you’re hurt and it will make him happy just by seeing you crack a hysterical laughter.
It’s your birthday and you are awaiting a beautiful gift from him. He knows that he doesn’t have to empty his pockets out to buy something of value for you. He knows your preferences and references. He knows that at a certain point in the relationship you mentioned that you liked this dress and he remembers that and gifts that on your birthday. He also knows about the things you have interest in and his choice of gift can have a causal relationship with that too. When you have such kind of extra effort done for you, you know that he loves you and he’s the one you should think about spending your lifetime with. He has the ability to give you the happiness you surely deserve.
4. He’s wise.
Judging someone by their education is a preference, however, judging someone by their intelligence to take control of situations or to advise you whenever you feel like you need it, is a necessity. Your guy has to know what to do in any situation that presents itself. Truthfully, both of you need to have some sort of intelligence regarding whatever life throws at your relationship but our main focus in this article is the guy. Your significant other needs to have the necessary street smartness to make the relationship work.
However, if he’s not smart enough then you shouldn’t be hard on him. All men are not born geniuses and there are some situations which we cannot control. You should give him the necessary time and if he loves you then, he will find a solution to complex puzzles. You love will give him the ability to grow and become a better, more prepared and responsible person.
Not everyone is a born genius and some people find it hard to figure out all the things in a relationship. If they are given enough time and space, then their struggle is enough to show that they want this relationship to work. They might need your help to get themselves out of certain situations and they might need little clues and hints to pave their way back to the safe zone but their determination to make this bond work will what matter. He will do whatever is necessary to make things work between you too.
5. He reminds you that you’re beautiful
Not only does your man need to think that you’re absolutely perfect, he needs to make sure that you look at yourself the same way that he does. Some people are more vocal than others, some people like to be more flamboyant than others, it doesn’t matter in what way they tell you that you’re beautiful, what matters is that at the end of the day, they make sure that you feel beautiful.
Chivalry is a concept which is becoming an antiquity day by day. People think that acting like gentlemen will embarrass them. However, If your man holds the door open for you before getting seated in a car, gives you flowers on a Monday, reminds you how beautiful you are when you’re least expecting it , these acts will certainly mean that the poor love bug is falling for you at a rapid pace.
6. He is concerned about your concerns.
Whenever you’re going through hard times or whenever you’re feeling down, your partner makes sure that he’s there for you. He tries whatever he can to get you out of whatever problem you’re facing or to ease the pain for you. A real man will stick by you and stay up late at night wondering what he can do to help you.
He accomplishes something big but instead of just being selfish and giving all the credit to himself, he gives equal appreciation to all the support you’ve provided him. His becomes ours and I changes into We. This promotes a really positive vibe in the relationship. It encourage both of you to try your best to contribute in each other’s lives and always be there and keep the promises you’ve made to each other. In the end, a person’s worth can only be measured by how true he is to his words.
Things at work might not be going according to plan and or a family matter might be disturbing you. Rest assured, you’ll have someone to find a solution instead of just fighting all these terrible monsters of life alone. This will eventually lead you to a situation that will make the bigger tragedies seem like small troubles. He will instill hope in you and make you believe that nothing in this life is permanent and that sadness is just a transient state which will fade away with more time.
7. He doesn’t make you feel bad.
He’s able to laugh at your mistakes, to not hold anything against you or to not be offended by something he knows you didn’t mean. It’s only human to make mistakes, he knows as well as you do that a few bumps in the road shouldn’t deviate from what really matters: the relationship.
The secret to all healthy relationships is compromise. If he’s not willing to accept the little imperfections and mistakes you are going to make, then it’s hard for a relationship to survive. He knows that being right all the time in certain matters is not as important as the bond you two share. He’s selfless and he is ready to sacrifice his desires for you at times. You’re interested in watching a romantic movie and instead of being a critique; he accompanies you to the cinema and enjoys the time spent with you.
We are all imperfect and our flaws define us in certain ways. The guy who wants to spend an eternity with you will be aware of the fact that these flaws disturb you and make you feel small. He will never highlight them and instead of making you feel bad about them, he will slowly try to make you feel good about them. Sound pretty crazy, right? But it’s true! You may not like a mole on your face or some little scare on your hand and he will make you feel as if these are the things he’s actually proud of. These kind of guys come only once in a lifetime and they are not to be mistaken as hoaxes.
8. He can differentiate between harmless and harmful.
It takes all the strength a person has to admit his or her mistakes. If your guy can tell that what he did hurt you, then he won’t take it lightly, he won’t tell you to lighten up. Whether he really knew that it hurt you or not, he still makes sure that it won’t happen again.
There are occasions when he has the opportunity to roast you or say a certain thing about you which may turn your mood off. He is well aware of the fact that doing or saying something like that will be harmful for you, so instead of cracking up a hysterical laughter, he opts for silence. He is in love with your fragile insecurities. He is able to tolerate anything as long as it means that it will not hurt the relationship.
There are many indications which you will observe in the person you want to spend your whole life with. These things will make you believe in his love. Consequently, you’ll have a person who is one in a million, a person who completes you. If not ,you have to keep looking and be optimistic and be open to the fact that he is out there looking for you and you are doing the same. When you do find him, it will be a bewitching moment. All your life, you have wished for normal and he will exceed all those expectations and set new boundaries of love, romance and chivalry. It’s what you and I and every girl would want, right? A guy who sets things straight in our lives and gives us the love we deserve.
Have you found someone who really loves you and makes you feel exhilarated by his presence?