Self-anything can sometimes be difficult to achieve, whether it be love, respect, esteem, confidence or worth. Some of us have high levels of one but not another. You can have self confidence but sometimes lack in self love. Whatever the case may be, too often we often don’t even recognize the fact that we are disrespecting ourselves.
There are many distractors in our lives that tend to complicate things and we conform to our surroundings which is never a good thing to do, but I think we have all been guilty of doing this at one point. We put other’s feelings and needs before ours and we never want to rock the boat. All these little things add up to one thing: self disrespect. Here are some other signs that may indicate you are disrespecting yourself.
1. Always saying yes.
Even when what you really want to say is no. You want to please everyone right? When you say yes, everyone is happy and all is good. Except for one thing; you’re not happy. You say yes even when you don’t even have time to do whatever it was that was asked of you. Time to stop doing that. Practice saying no.
2. Smile and nod.
You sometimes find yourself agreeing with someone’s statement, even if it’s ridiculous or goes against everything you believe in, just so you don’t offend them or start an argument. Find your voice. Start standing up for what you believe in. You don’t have to agree with everyone and maybe not everyone is going to like your opinion. Too bad.
3. Put yourself last.
I get that as parents, we find ourselves putting our children first and their needs which is totally understandable but remember one thing, you are no good to anyone if you aren’t good to yourself. Your needs are just as important, if not more so, as everyone else’s. Take care of you.
4. Hiding your feelings.
Those matter too. You are afraid to show or express your feelings because everyone else’s feelings are more important. Wrong! Your feelings are important. If no one knows how you feel they will continue to do the things that have hurt your feelings in the first place (if such is the case). Tell them how you feel.
5. Hanging with the wrong people.
You’re still friends with some of the toxic people you secretly long to dump. You don’t dump them because they’ve been in your life since high school or, worst yet, they are family. You don’t have to hang around toxic people out of obligation. Get rid of them and be happy.
6. Poor self talk.
Those words you keep telling yourself I’m not good enough, smart enough, pretty/handsome enough, etc. need to be removed from your vocabulary. Respect yourself enough to know and firmly believe you are enough. Often we tell ourselves negative things without even really thinking. Watch your self talk and make it good.
7. Pretend to be someone else.
We’ve all done this, I think. We try to impress people and put on a façade so they will like us or accept us into their circle of friends. If yo u have to pretend to be somebody else, then they are not worthy of your friendship. If they can’t accept you for who you are then find other people who will. Don’t sacrifice you for the sake of them. You won’t be happy and eventually will drift away anyway. It’s pointless, really.
8. Doing things that go against your nature.
Most of us are still trying to fit in. We do things totally out of character so that we do fit in. The cool people go bar hopping, you don’t, in fact, you don’t even really like to drink or go out and party, but you’ll go with them just to fit in. This is never a good idea. You are sacrificing your values and morals. Don’t do this and don’t do ridiculous things that go against your nature. It’s just dumb.
9. Speaking badly of someone.
Also known as gossip. Any kind of talk that is meant to defame someone, hurt them or anything like that is trashy and toxic. Don’t be that person. Gossip is poison and hurtful. If your words about someone else don’t lift them up or praise them, don’t speak them. It only shows bad character on your part. Respect yourself enough to only speak happy and loving words.
10. Lack of self care.
Whether that be hygiene, dietary or exercise. Take care of yourself in all ways. Physically, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. There is only one you, one life, one chance. Live your life to the fullest, take care of yourself, nurture your temple and be happy. Respect yourself enough to look after you.