The knight in shining armor? The Italian gentleman who walks off the winery to sweep you off your feet? The romantic lover who awaits you with a bouquet of roses on the white sandy beaches?
While we have romantic notions about love and the relationships we want in our lives, we are missing the entire point when it comes to love.
So much of our work focuses on the person we want to manifest. We focus so much of our energy and effort externally. We date, we dress up, we think positive thoughts, we visualize the perfect man or woman, we get on dating sites and blind dates, but we don’t do the real work.
Here’s the real work: you.
The secret to finding the relationship of your dreams isn’t about manifesting your dream man but becoming the dream person you’re capable of being.
Don’t ask, “Why can’t I find a good guy?” Instead ask, “How can I become the most loving, authentic and happy version of myself?”
The journey to your soulmate isn’t about finding a soulmate but elevating your soul journey to becoming who you are. It’s not about finding the best man but becoming the best version of yourself.
Before you make any attempt to find your special someone, work on these things first:
1. A belief in yourself.
You have to believe that are you enough, whole and worthy. You have to affirm your goodness, know that you are valuable and accept yourself for who you are. You have to be willing to treat yourself as well as you would any partner. This means speaking gently to yourself, treating yourself kindly in your mind and showing yourself as much affection as you would anyone else. You have to be willing to nourish and nurture yourself. Work on your personal growth, go after the things you want in life and work on becoming the person you are capable of being. Actively work on love, generosity and kindness instead of judgment, comparison and negativity.
2. Live your most authentic and happy life.
Do not wait for a partner to make you happy. Work on your happiness daily. Happiness is a choice you can make every day. Do what you’re passionate about and what brings you joy. Try to reduce the stress, negativity and unhealthy habits in your life. Increase the small joys, the habits that bring you happiness and that bring you alive. Spend more time with people you care about. Work on projects you love. Exercise. Eat better. Give more. Help more. Love more. Live your best life every day at your highest vibration. Don’t live by society’s rules, live by yours. Listen to your intuition and guide yourself internally. Do not let what others want guide you.
3. Know what you want in a partner.
Once you’ve done the internal work of loving and accepting yourself, think of the partner you want. Not the superficial qualities; imagine the character, values and world perspective of your partner. Think about the things you would like to have in common and that make a loving relationship possible. Do this work first so you’re aware of who you’re looking for. Most importantly, when you meet people, keep this vision in mind. The challenge is to quickly let go of dates and relationships that don’t meet the criteria you’re looking for. Saying “no” to others is saying “yes” to yourself. Saying “no” to the wrong mates is the first step towards saying “yes” to your soulmate. Again, the secret to finding that dream relationship has very little to do with the outside. The journey to love is an inside game. What are you doing today to live a love-filled life? Please share in the comments below.