How do you know if the girl you are dating is the one you should marry? There are many common answers to this like- ‘You will just know’ and ‘it will click’ and others. I don’t believe them to be valid. There are always some reasons upon which you base a person’s loyalty, honesty and validity. Perhaps what people mean by ‘just knowing’ and ‘clicking’ is that you will see all those reasons one day and you will realize that she is the one.
You don’t have to rush it if it does not click any day. Relationships are to life like water is to plants, caring about them more than required can kill them.
If you feel like she is the one but you still want to make sure that your proposing her won’t be a bad mistake, look for these signs in her. If you see them in her, she is absolutely the one to share your life with.
1. You Two Can Talk to Each Other:
We are using a different definition of ‘talking’ here. Usually, it may be defined as listening to the other person and then replying, but here it is the mutual sharing of dialogues with patience and the mental capacity to listen to and comprehend the point of view of the other person. Being able to talk is being able to accept their views with an open mind and expecting the same from them. It is more than essential for two people to be able to talk, to be there for each other when there is a need of sharing matters and the problems with those matters.
One of the most common problems I have personally seen in unstable relationships is that the two people don’t talk the right way. Either it is the guy with an ego problem or the girl with an impatient attitude. We all have come across such couples and we can tell by judging them that one of them is playing their part wrong. Even if we, ourselves, cannot define the ‘right’ way to talk, we can still tell by listening to a fighting couple talk that he or she is being unreasonable. Couples have disputes and it’s a normal thing, but they are only solved when one of two or both of them decide to compromise to the views of the other. That is talking. That is communicating. If she does that and you see that quality in her, she definitely values the relationship a lot.
My own parents are calm and they can communicate nicely, and I think that is one of the most important things you should look for in a person before going any further with them. Without communication, the relationship is hollow. Even if she looks hotter than Megan Fox, my friend, everything goes to waste if you two can’t talk in rough times.
Her artistic skills or her perfect eyebrows won’t come in handy when you are disturbed or disappointed. Talking matters and it matters more than any other factor. It is a way to convey your encouragement and encouragement is very much needed in every relationship. If you won’t tell your partner that you believe in them, how do you think will they cope with the atrocities of the world?
Many of us have a blaming problem when it comes to mistakes and wrongdoings. If she does something wrong and then apologizes instead of pointing out one of your mistakes that you made a couple of months ago, then she is worth keeping. Accepting mistakes and apologizing for them shows great respect for the relationship which is, in fact, rare these days.
2. All She Asks for is Love:
We, as humans, always have doubts about everything ranging from people to products. We wonder if it/they are genuine and our money/time won’t be wasted on them. It is not an evil or morally bad thing to doubt people or things as long as you don’t express it in everyone’s face. We naturally ask ourselves if we are making the right choice when we make friends with a person or go out with them. We wonder if they will be healthy for us or if their presence will only affect us in some way. We also silently stay doubtful about what they want from us. We obviously get involved with another person for either love or comfort or anything that makes us feel good and wanted. It is obviously our needs that make us want to be with someone, but we want to be sure too if the other person wants the same from us.
If she is financially stable and has a career and her own friends etc, then it is a good sign. How? It means that she is able to take care of herself financially and can do anything for herself. It means that the reason she chose you is pure; that she only wants to confide with you her life and her emotions and her secrets. It means that all she asks for is love.
It is not at all something to be fearful of or worry about; it means that she chose you over all the other men in the world and that all she wants from you is love and nothing else. The women who don’t work are equally worthy of love and should not be doubted but if your girl likes to be self-dependent, then it is just another great sign for you to know that she is the one to marry. The little hidden doubt will be removed this way, and you will know that she is someone who only asks for love from you. That is when you will realize that it is genuine and how lucky you are to have her as a partner.
Money can be a problem at times. Money is often the reason why couples break up. Either there is not enough money or there is a comparison problem when one earns more than the other. Our egos are hurt if our partner earns more than us. So if she is okay with you earning more and does not compare and judge your work and her own work then she is the one. Not to forget, you are supposed to do the same.
3. No Secret Guy Friends:
A lot of you guys must know what I am talking about. Out of nowhere, a guy ‘best friend’ of hers comes up that you never knew about and you are left with no choice but to accept him as her friend.
It is an absurd thing even if you are not dating her because ‘best friends’ are talked about and met more than often, they don’t just appear in front of you one day. Talking about ‘just friends’, we know those too are fishy if she didn’t tell you about them.
TBH, it creates a fringe of doubt no matter how much you like her. If she does not tell you about all the male and female friends of hers then, no matter how you justify, you will always feel doubtful. If she keeps a lock on her phone and when unlocks it, tries stay at a distance from you, she obviously does not want you to know something. Now here, we are not telling you to invade her privacy and make a big deal about the things she does not want to share, what we are saying is that not sharing makes you feel not trusted and is not one of the signs.
It is a great sign that she is the one to marry if she tells you everything about all the friends, both guys and girls, and the same goes for you. If she is willing to share every aspect of her life with you and tries to stay as honest as possible, then she is a keeper. Being open to each other and not keeping each other in the dark is very important as there are expectations in a relationship from both sides. She will want to know your female friends naturally and you will want to know about her male friends.
The element of jealousy is natural in a relationship and if she makes sure that you don’t have to feel it every now and then, then she actually cares about your feelings for her. This also tells you about the amount of trust she puts in you. Boundaries between other male friends and you are important and expecting this does not make you a conservative person, it only shows that you cannot share her with someone. She is the one to marry if she consents to share everything about her past and present.
4. How YOU Feel About Her:
Even if you see all of the above signs in her and do not feel attracted to or in love with her, then don’t go further and ruin two lives. One thing that matters more than any sign is how you feel about her. Sometimes, no matter how great the person is or how much they seem to be the one for us, we do not feel attracted to them. Our heart does not accept them and we fail to see a future with them no matter how perfect they are.
It would be a shame if you feel like this for a person who has all the above mentioned signs, but still, we would suggest you to not go any further with them. You may hold their hand for their happiness but you, yourself, will feel empty all the time.
One thing that matters more than any sign is how you feel about her. Nothing else in the world matters more. It is all about you feeling love for her; the kind of love that makes you want to grow old with her. Every quality of her character will cease to matter if you don’t love her with all your heart. We agree, being rational and weighing the odds is necessary, but what is more important is that you feel the thing for her. We can help you with that too. If you want to be sure about your love for her, then you only need to ask yourself some simple questions.
Do you feel like asking her what’s wrong when she looks upset? Do you want to spend your only free weekend with her? Do you think she is the prettiest woman on earth when you see her? Do you ever feel like ‘She is the best thing to ever have happened to me’? If yes, then go on and marry her. She is the one for you.