The 5 Stages of Love & Why Everyone Stops at Stage 3
Love is one of the most highly sought after things in the world, so much so that people often act crazy or entirely unlike themselves when they’ve fallen for someone. People of all ages want to find love, yet we see an astonishing number of relationships and marriages that fall apart over time.
Check out the five stages of love and why most people end up calling it quits after stage three:
Stage 1 – Falling in love
If you’ve never fallen in love before, give it a shot sometime. It’s one of the craziest experiences that you’ll ever forget. Falling in love is great for many reasons, but mostly because our brains get flooded with chemicals that are designed to make us feel amazing.
Dopamine, oxytocin, serotonin, testosterone and estrogen are all swirling together to give us butterflies. When you’re in love, no one call to you otherwise, because you’re 100% certain of the way you’re feeling.
Stage 2 – Coming together as a couple
During stage two, the love between two individuals becomes deeper and a little more mature. This is the stage when most people want to have children and rear them together, as their bond becomes strengthened.
The individuals start making decisions based around the couple, rather than the individual. Most people feel that this is the love that will last a lifetime, and they are often the same people that are so taken aback by stage three.
Stage 3 – Becoming disillusioned
Stage three often throws people for a loop because this is the time when one or both people start feeling uncertain about the direction that their relationship is headed.
Stage three is when things start to feel wrong. You become resentful and angry over the littlest things, you feel less loved and intimate, and you want out. You want to bring back that spark or chemistry, but you’re unsure of how to do it.
Getting through stage three can be very difficult, but if the couple can survive it, they’ll come out on the other side stronger and more in love than ever.
Stage 4 – Building a real, lasting love
If you can make it through stage three, then stage four is your reward. Stage four takes place after you’ve gotten to the core of all the pain and conflict and are now working to resolve it. And part of resolving your issues is understanding that everyone is wounded on some level, and that these wounds play a large role in your relationships.
In fact, ongoing research by The Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study has shown that childhood trauma can affect our physical, emotional, and relational health in profound ways.
Building a lasting love means wanting to grow and help each other heal your wounds. Once the two of you start to heal, you’ll notice the chemistry and feelings of true love start to flourish again.
Stage 5 – Using your love to take on the world
The world is often seen as a pretty terrible place and for the most part, it is. Thinking about the endless amount of conflict and turmoil that plagues every region of the planet can be disheartening; it makes us feel like there’s really nothing we can do individually to help out.
Building a lasting love between just two people is incredibly hard as it is, how can we do that with 7 billion people? But maybe finding true love and then building a lasting love is the first step in this process. If we can do this, then maybe we can start looking outward, seeking ways to help the world come together in love.