If you’re familiar with getting cold feet, let me tell you something – that it’s ok if you’re introverted or extroverted because we all get the butterflies when it comes to saying things like “I love you”, or “sorry” first. The uncertainty of consequences, the overthinking of timing and word play and whether or not the feelings will be mutual are all things that make even the most outgoing of us stop before we speak, and for good reason. Sometimes revealing your love for someone can be a life changing situation for both parties; better make sure it’s the right time.
How can you know? Well, as I’ve said before there is no guide book for life, but there are principles we can follow to make sure we live the best life we can. Overcoming your fear of engagement is a great asset to have in your social and business life.
“ I think I can, I think I can, I think I can! ”
1. Remove fear from your vocabulary
Let’s start here, because the first step of being the first, is being fearless. We all have a history of uncomfortable situations – rejection, failures and bad days accumulate in our memory and dictate our behaviour to this day. It decides how we act when we are about to walk on eggshells. The best thing to do is to remember your victories and keep facing struggles head on. The more you overcome daily struggles with a smile, the more fearless you will become!
2. Have a positive attitude
That said, keep a smile on your face all day. If you’re negatively adverse to rejection and dismay, you need to put that smile back on and learn to recover ASAP! Keep a positive attitude and remember all the hurdles you’ve overcome. If you’re smiling, you’re positive, and if you’re positive, you’re unstoppable!
3. Being proactive
Once you’ve nailed those two, you’re on your way to being a more proactive person. Taking the first step to say I love you makes you a proactive, fearless person, ready to get what she deserves! You’re ready to get what you want, and you’re ready to show the world that too.
4. Accepting the consequences
If you can say it first, you’re embracing a critical part of maturity – that you are ready to accept the consequences of your decisions for good or for worse. Don’t feel like you’re behind, because there’s no right time to feel comfortable at this stage. We all mature at different degrees, and you can only do the best you can be, so make sure not to compare yourself with others – ever! Say it first, and deal with the aftermath like an adult.
5. Making peace with your feelings
Go beyond “shoulda, coulda, woulda”, by just doing it. If you feel a certain way about something, do something about it. If you have feelings for someone, let them know it. Don’t be shy – chances are, they are feeling the same way, and waiting for who is going to make the first move. So make peace with your feelings and pull the trigger. You’ll be happier you did it!
6. Finding conclusion
If something has been getting to you for over a day, then you’re certainly overthinking something. Get to the meat of it by saying it first. Once you’ve opened the doors, everything is out and the open. Sometimes the truth hurts, but if you’ve gotten past steps 1 and 2 already, then we are beyond that! Put your overthinking to rest by finding conclusion in your day to day like – all part of living proactively.
7. Relieve a tense situation with your strength
Even though we might all be a little shy when it comes to emotional situations, we’ve all had to make a move before. Keep doing it. Be proud that you can make the first move, not the other person. Although it might seem a little selfish to take pride in being more outgoing than someone else, take reprieve in the fact that you’ve helped someone else who was more shy to move first.
8. Spread the love
Once you’ve become comfortable with saying big things to people first, watch how the changes in your life unfold. You will be stronger in social situations, and without knowing it you will soon be attracting love and positivity in all aspect s of your social and business life. You will attract attention from others, and bind other people together with your engaging spirit. So go out, and say it: I love you! You’re not afraid anymore.