When it comes to my own personal development, the negative things that I have learned to admit about myself are the most important lessons there are. In my own personal trials, I have discovered that I can be a serial complainer.
We are all capable of excessive complaining and we all do it from time to time. It is a trap that we can fall in, which can wreak havoc on our lives. I feel it is more contagious than the flu. I have come to the conclusion that complaining is one of the ultimate no, no’s, in the area of self-help and personal development.
Our self talk is the most important thing to be aware of.
It is important that we are aware of our thoughts and of what we are saying. When we sit around and complain, we are literally welcoming more negativity into our lives. It is as if we speak terrible things into our lives, because that is exactly what we do.
As I have became more aware of my own personal self talk I find myself sometimes allowing this negative, complaining bug, to sneak its nasty little head up when I least expect it. The next thing I know I am sitting around in a pile of problems, just wishing that life would go my way, as things crumble around me.
Complainers Are Like Magnets
People who complain seem to draw other people who complain. I am not sure why, but I will admit that I have been a complainer who has done this. I have also fallen victim to the complaining bug and there have been times, when I have surrounded myself with complainers in every area of my life. Sad music, everything. They say that water seeks its own level and I have definitely witnessed that in my own life when it comes to my complaining habits.
Complaining is “comfy”.
Comfort blankets, in my opinion, are rarely good. “Complaining” appears to be one of mine. I do not like comfort blankets. Who grows there? I remember long ago, I dated a girl. She was always listening to sad music and seemed to just love to stay in bed. It wasn’t long after, that I would do the same thing. It was as if we embraced each other’s sadness and that was what was making us feel comfortable together. The relationship was not a good one and did not work out. This was a relationship of comfort, neither of us felt really good and that is what we shared together. Have you ever had a relationship like that?
People like to complain together, because it makes them feel good about the crap they are welcoming into their lives.
Without blame to anyone, but myself (because that is all that I can control), I had to make the conscious choice to set boundaries and get the complaining disease out of my own life. I soon realised that I welcomed what I would like to have in my life, I could also reject the things that I did not like. The first steps that I took alone were very difficult, but they were rewarding.
It is not cruel to put a distance between yourself and others if they are toxic to you.
The complaint bug can literally destroy everything in your world. You will not even notice it happening unless you are very alert. I have found that it is best for me to label these complaining thoughts and emotions as hear them entering into my mind. I then release those thoughts and replace them with thoughts of gratitude.
Do not allow that sneaky little virus anywhere close to you.
We can love people from afar, but ultimately, we have to love ourselves in order to be effective in our other relationships with people. If you want to have good things, then you have to release good things into the world. A negative complaining attitude will only bring you a bunch of negative complaining people. The next thing you know, the house of cards comes tumbling down and you are once again, in the depths of despair.
I believe that complaining, well it is equally on par or worse, than any toxic behaviour we can allow into our lives.
Complaining is an extremely contagious bug and is easily passed amongst human beings. It is best that we remain guarded and turn the other way as soon as it starts to appear.
I have learned to be aware of the shady complaining bug and I would like to not waste my time complaining ever again.